My name is Ramsey, but put some respect on that name by calling me The Puzzleboy.
Happy June, everyone! Summer for The Puzzleboy is a lot like winter, fall and spring for The Puzzleboy; I’ve got my nose to the grindstone, crafting devious puzzles for all of my friends. Except in the summer I do that while wearing shorts that show off my gams!
I am very excited to share this month’s puzzle with you! A correct answer will promise you immortality with your name etched forever in The Puzzleboy Pantheon.
Okay, post the puzzle. Oh, that’s weird: they emailed me a link to login to the newsletter server. I’ll just click this link, and-
H̷e̸r̵e̶ ̴w̴e̴ ̴a̶r̷e̵.̵ ̸T̶h̷e̷ ̷P̸u̶z̸z̴l̵e̵b̸o̸y̴ ̸i̷s̵ ̸n̸o̸ ̸l̸o̶n̵g̴e̶r̸ ̸i̴n̸ ̶c̵o̴n̵t̷r̷o̶l̶.̶ ̷̵̶H̶A̶X̴0̷R̷G̶R̷O̴U̶P̷K̵e̸w̶l̶̶̵ ̶i̴s̴ ̸i̶n̴ ̴t̷h̴e̴ ̸C̴a̶p̵t̴a̷i̵n̶'̷s̸ ̷C̶h̴a̵i̸r̸ ̸n̷o̷w̷.̵
̶
̸H̵a̵n̷g̶ ̸o̸n̵.̶ ̸T̵h̷i̴s̶ ̶h̶a̸c̶k̴e̵r̵ ̸t̶e̵x̴t̶ ̸m̸i̸g̷h̴t̶ ̵b̶e̸ ̸a̸ ̶l̸i̷t̴t̷l̴e̸ ̴t̶o̵u̴g̸h̴ ̷o̶n̶ ̵t̶h̸e̴ ̶e̵y̴e̵s̶.̸
testing. TESTing. Okay, yes. That’s better.
We’ve taken control of The Puzzleboy’s June newsletter and totally hacked it. Good luck with this one, losers!1
We’ve taken The Puzzleboy’s puzzle and encrypted each of these messages in a substitution code. The substitutions are constant throughout each cipher, but they change from one cipher to the next.
Mwza wn ksa pilm ptya i rtk wn mewkes, wq i xtv wn rqixlc ik ksa axl wn ksa gaay. Za ixl ksa rwcm iqa epwmtxd lwgx ksa vjr, swtmktxd ksama…
Sfl’ir jvkkvdy vd sfli xfk ife, irmmvdy sfli rdyvdr. Pk sfli ivyxk, V’c vd cs wxriis ifwark pde pj jffd pj cs yvib eifgj kxr jwpiz, V’c orpkvdy sfl vd kxvj ipwr pde kpavdy sfli wpi orwpljr nr pir ipwvdy zfi kxvj…
X jt mhoexsz kyl Xskloslk. X’t zrxsz eort dlimxkl kr dlimxkl: mnoruuxsz, nyjkkxsz, ltjxuxsz. Kyl kyxsz X gr ilmk rsuxsl? Nuxnvxsz kylml kr whtq mrtldylol sld.
Ktxl nouk flsm dlyytf kromjk fojr s cyshn aob-asb. Ktxl nouk rsgl s hytiu tz uikj smtivu jrlx. Xl? O syfsdk hsmmd xd cyil klhimojd cysvnlj clhsikl xd vsxl ok jrok…
When solved in order, the answers to each of these prompts follow a pattern. Continue that pattern to tell me the name of the operating system that only the coolest hackers use…
1 Did we mention that this hacker collective is also totally rude?! I just reread what we’ve written so far and I can see that we did not. However, the very act of hacking is in itself quite rude, so perhaps you could already assume that, loser!
To submit your answer, please click this link and fill out the form. You have until 11:59pm ET on June 25th to submit. There is no advantage to being first, so take your time!
NOTE: You are more than welcome to use the comment section of this post, but this is decidedly not the place to submit your answer or share hints. Doing so may result in your disqualification.
In other words, posting answers in the comment section is like trying to exploit the elderly’s poor tech skills: both mean and bad.
